3 min readEnhancewell
Nature vs. nurture. How much of who you are is set before you take your first breath? Most will never have the opportunity to separate their nature from the nurture they received. Growing up adopted meant I always dreamed about what life would have been like growing up with my biological family. I wondered whose eyes looked like mine, where I got my smile, and whether my quirks were an "Antoni Original" or if there was someone else out there with the same.
Thanks to a DNA test, I reconnected with my birth mother and had the opportunity to meet my biological family last year.
I found that nature trumps nurture 100%.
I have a strong personality. I'm impatient. I hustle. I'm never without a new business idea.
And some of those qualities cause me to butt heads with my adoptive family.
When I met my birth family, they clocked the traits that make me who I am and immediately recognized my grandfather in me. I'm told he was a savvy businessman with tons of ideas— just like me.
Growing up, I suffered with anxiety. I didn't soothe with a stuffed animal or a blanket. Instead, I rubbed my feet together, easing the "funny feeling" in my feet and calming my nerves. My birth mother does the same to this day.
The similarities we've discovered are uncanny, and my grandfather would be proud to know that I've found a way to apply these discoveries to this consulting business.
Nature vs. nurture in business coaching
Individuality is a leader's best friend
The biggest lesson I've learned through finding my birth family is that every person is designed to be 100% unique— with traits and quirks passed down through the generations.
When mentoring employees, we often come to the table with preconceived notions about how things should be done. We judge them from our own lens and want them to adhere to our standards, but maybe— just maybe— we're the anomaly. If we don't assess our motivations and our employees' capabilities, we may push someone outside what they're genetically designed to be. Not everyone can be a Steve Jobs or a Jeff Bezos. Even the most entrepreneurial people need a support team to make the business work.
Instead of trying to mold someone into who you want them to be, it's crucial to see each employee as an individual so you can help them reach their full potential.
Acceptance is a great opportunity
Have you ever been frustrated by an employee or colleague's performance or process? You're not alone.
Growing up, I sometimes felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Meeting my biological family felt like finding the square hole where I fit perfectly.
Instead of getting frustrated by a colleague's methods, see the situation as an opportunity to accept who they are— and use that as a starting point in the mentoring process.
I still wonder from time to time how my life would have been different if my biological family had raised me. But instead of wishing for a different past, I look hopefully toward a new future— using what I've learned about nature vs. nurture to guide me in my life and my business consulting practices.
If you want to experience consulting tailored to your specific needs, get in touch today and set up a free discovery call, the first step in unlocking your full potential.